Being Present

The following is a piece I wrote for mcnairscholarsrock.com published October 18, 2013.

It’s been almost a whole year that I’ve been with McNair.  Over the course of that year there have been many conversations with Lynn or the scholars about being present in the moment…being mindful of what is happening now, not focusing on what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow.  In doing that, I have found a new respect for the beauty that surrounds us and wanting to share that beauty with others.

I have always appreciated the beauty of nature and have a hidden passion for taking pictures.  I’m not the photographer that can stage people and capture something stunning, but I love maneuvering on the ground to get in just the right position to catch the sun through the branches of trees.  If you were to look through my pictures on Facebook, you will see that I am constantly taking pictures of the things around me.  I am constantly trying to capture that elusive shot to showcase the beauty of things as I see it through my eyes.

There are many times throughout the day that I wish I had my camera with me so I could stop to capture a shot.  I catch a glimpse of something that I perceive as beautiful or picturesque.  On my way to work each day I pass two houses with newborn foals.  Just down the road there is a tree that stands tall and forlorn in a field of beans.  I may see a doe and her fawn in the field or be witness to the sun rising in the morning.  It could be some architectural detail on a building on campus or just some random thing that catches my eye.

I have realized that capturing that one great shot fills me with a rush of excitement, happiness and optimism.  Hold on a second, let me rephrase that.  The action of taking pictures, just trying to capture a great shot, fills me with excitement, happiness and optimism.  I feel tuned in and content with my place in the universe.  It is almost like a drug. Isn’t that how life should be?

Shouldn’t life be like a drug? I want to be high on life!

I want to be present in the moment more often.  I know it’s not practical to expect every moment of the day to bring you joy or be filled with beauty, but I think maybe if we slow down and start taking notice of some of the little moments we may find those little pieces are enough to sustain us when maybe there isn’t joy or beauty.

I think we may find ourselves becoming more optimistic because we will realize that every day is filled with lots of great moments.  Maybe it’s just a smile from a random stranger, hitting green lights when you’re running late, someone holding a door open for you, a great cup of coffee, a compliment from a friend, a decent grade on a quiz you thought you did lousy on or just a simple “like” on a Facebook status.

So even though what I perceive as beautiful may not be the next person’s idea of beauty, I’m going to keep on viewing life as if I have my camera pressed up to my face.  I’m going to keep on trying to capture that elusive photo for others to enjoy because that means I’m taking time to be present in the moment and being high on life.

Life's a Challenge

There are a lot of things in life that are hard.  They change as you change or as your life changes.  What may be hard one day may seem like small stuff later in life.  Maybe you are waiting to hear if you’ve been accepted into the McNair Scholars Program, maybe you are trying to run your first mile, your car is on the fritz, a friend is giving you grief, or you are feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibilities you have at this moment.  There will be countless things in our lifetime that will challenge us.  And that’s a good thing!  But, when you are the one struggling to overcome that challenge, it is hard to reconcile the fact that these challenges help you grow, make you stronger, and help you face the next challenge.  

Many of our scholars have been waiting for responses from grad schools where they have applied.  The fate of their future rests in someone else’s hands.  The decisions that others are making in regards to their future is monumental.  AHHHHH!!!  How stressful!  Which grad schools are going to present them with an offer?  Which offer will they accept?  What if they don’t receive any offers?  Where are they going to be moving?  How much of a stipend will they be getting?  Will they be able to afford their living expenses without taking on a part-time job?  What if the offer they receive doesn’t align with the path they had mapped out for their future?  The wait and not knowing is torture!!

Right now, I can totally empathize with those scholars waiting for their grad school offers.  We are in the process of buying a new home and moving.  In my ideal world, everything would have happened in a week.  In this ideal world of mine, I can sell my house, find a new one, get all the loan documentation taken care of, close on both homes, pack, move and be settled into the new home all within a week.  Yep, you read that correctly!  All of that would have taken place within a week.  But of course that isn’t the way it really happens…this is the real world.  

I know that I need to be patient and things will work themselves out as they should.  I realize that everything happens for a reason.  In my head, I tell myself the same things that I say to the scholars in hopes to reassure and calm their nerves while they wait for their offers to come.  These same words apply to my own situation.  But when the shoe is on the other foot, it is hard to let it go and let life happen.  It is hard to reconcile the fact that these challenges help me grow, make me stronger, and help me face the next challenge.  Life is hard, but that’s a good thing.  Because it means I’m living!