Life is Like a Zip Line

Working with McNair, I have a wide variety of conversations with our scholars.  Anything and everything is fair game with me.  Recently Donovan (a 2014 scholar) and I were discussing Summer Research Opportunities (SROPs) and grad school.  What if he doesn’t get accepted to any programs?  What if he does?

It is human nature to think (and worry) about what the future holds and the changes it will bring.  You never know...not until you are living in that moment.  It can be exciting and scary both at the same time.  At first I wasn't sure what to say to Donovan to help him put things in perspective without diminishing his fears, but then it hit me..."Life is like a zip line." 

Let me back up and give you a little history behind Donovan and zip lines.  At the beginning of the McNair journey we have a retreat at CranHill Ranch.  The scholars are given the opportunity to maneuver through an outdoor high ropes course that ends in a zip line.  Donovan isn't fond of heights, so climbing up a steep ladder and manipulating through the course took tremendous bravery.  He stood on the final platform (high up in the trees mind you) preparing himself for that plunge onto the zip line.  It took him awhile, as he let others pass him by, but he found the courage to take that step off the ledge.

Isn't that really the same as life?  As scary as some of life's choices may be, you can either jump off the ledge and enjoy the thrill of the ride, or you can stand there and let life pass you by.

After Donovan was done we asked him how he felt.  He felt proud and exhilarated having faced his fears.  You will never know what life will offer you unless you keep on moving forward.  So be brave, take the plunge and enjoy life.

Front Door Facelift

So we moved into our new house a little over a year ago and there are still a million and one projects we want to do.  It seems that we start a hundred of them and only completely finish one or two.  Now that we are finally getting warm weather in Michigan, let's just be honest and admit that the projects we started over the winter are going to be on hold until next winter.  We have to seize the moment and make the most of nice weather while we have it.

Ever since I decided to paint the front door and shutters, the weather has not been cooperative.  Seems like we are getting the rain we should have been getting in April.  Today I had a couple hours and the weather was beautiful so I decided to take the plunge and tackle the front door.  (Quick confession...I was so anxious to get the door painted, I actually removed the handles and tackled stripping and cleaning them days before I actually painted the door.)

Here is my front door before I started painting, but after I already removed the door handle and taped off the kick plate.  As you can see it is B-O-R-I-N-G...boring!

 

I spent umpteen hours scouring Pinterest for the easiest and fasted way to paint a front door.  Here is my take on a combination of all those tutorials I read and found useful.  I'm by no means an expert, but if I can help you save time, save money AND complete a project from start to finish...bonus!  (By the way...our door is a standard fiberglass door with the wood grain finish.)

Basically all I did was:

1. Prep it
2. Paint it

That's it!  Pretty simple, huh?  I didn't take the door off the hinges.  I didn't patch the dings.  I didn't give the door a light sanding.  I didn't tape off the outside.  I didn't prime it.  I was starting with a bare door so I didn't feel it was necessary for all that extra time and energy.  Ain't nobody got time for that!  :)  If you feel you need more instructions than that, please feel free to keep reading.  If you're good to go, then have at it!

Materials needed:

• paint - I chose Sherwin Williams brand Resilience in Red Bay #6321.  I went with SW even though it is way more money than I would normally spend on paint because I didn't want to have to redo it again in a couple years.  Word on the street is this stuff holds up well to weather, sun and power washing.  And the Resilience is the only one at SW that you can get in a quart.  I hardly used anything from the quart...like not even a quarter of it.
• foam brush - I started with a 1 1/2" regular paint brush for the the panels and then a foam roller for the first coat, but switched to a foam brush.  I liked the foam brush better because I didn't have to fight with brush stroke marks.  I wish I would have used it the entire time as I could have saved myself time, money, and energy since the foam brush is disposable and you don't need a tray.
• tiny paint brush for touch-up 
• two hours of your time

For prep, I gave it a wipe down with dish soap, and water.  There were some spots where the previous owner had used tape on the door that the soap and water wouldn't remove.  For that I just grabbed the rubbing alcohol and a rag.  I removed the hardware and taped off the kick plate before I tackled actually painting.

I painted the panels first.  I started in the upper left corner and worked clockwise in each panel and then filled in the middle section of the panel.  My first swipe on the top and bottom of the panels I ran horizontally, but then went back immediately and ran my brush up and down so the strokes went with the grain.  I did this for all six panels before painting the rest of the door. I will admit, the foam roller made the first coat go quickly, but the splatter mess and cost difference makes it not worth it.  *Remember:  Less is more!*  It is tempting to put a lot of paint on your brush, but it will look better if you do light coats and fill in the spots you missed with the next coat. 

Not looking too purdy yet.  No turning back now!

The directions on the can say to let the paint dry two hours in between coats.  If you haven't figured out already, I'm not the patient sort.  I did go out and spray paint the door handles that go on the inside of the house in between coats.  They were brass so I spray painted them brushed nickel to match the rest of the door handles throughout the house.  I'd say I let it sit maybe 30 minutes before I gave it a second coat.  There was a beautiful breeze so I figured Mother Nature was helping me out by blowing on it to make it dry faster.  While the second coat was drying, I went out and gave the handles another coat of paint.

I cleaned up my mess and went outside to start another project I had that needed sprayed red.  After a half hour or so I went in and started putting the harware back on the door.  I was very careful with this step so I didn't scratch the door and peel the paint that I'm certain wasn't 100% dry yet.  Again...I'm not that patient.  I decided to shut the door completely to see how it looked from the outside.  While standing in the house, everything looked honkey dory.  Once I shut the door, the light revealed I still had missed some spots.  I just grabbed a detail paint brush and hit the spots where I could see white.  There weren't enough to warrant giving it a third coat.

Drum roll please....

From start to finish, I'd say this project took about two hours.  On a scale of one to five for difficulty, I'd rate this a one.  This project was easy peasy!

Are you still nervous to be bold and give your front door a pop of color?  Think it won't make that much of a difference?  Check out how it looks from a distance.  I think the red makes a huge difference.  I can't wait to tackle the shutters next!

Boring Before

Awesome After

Before & After of the door handle

Thanks for scoping out my how-to.  If you have any questions, please ask!  Hopefully I'll be as inspired to write about painting my shutters.

Gratitude or Attitude

Positive mental attitude, optimism, being present, thankfulness, mindfulness, gratitude, gratefulness, and all those other things.  What does all that mumbo-jumbo mean?  And who the heck cares?  First off...I care.  Why?  Life is too short to waste on negativity.  I believe that...wholeheartedly.  But what does it mean? 

I think to understand it, we have to restate something we all learned in grade school...the opposite of positive is negative.  Many people are consumed by negativity.  Not just a bad mood, but a negative mind set.  A mood is something temporary and can change.  To me, mind set is the person's overall attitude towards life.  If someone is in a bad mood, you can draw attention to it and possibly change it.  Sometimes, a bad mood can carry over into their attitude.  Change their mood and you may change the attitude.  But, people with a negative mind set or disposition...they are invariably criticizing, complaining, or finding fault.

If positive is the opposite of negative, where do you fit in?  Do you have gratitude or an attitude?  I try hard to have gratitude and maintain a positive outlook on life.  Now...that's not to say I'm never in a bad mood or have a bad attitude.  Let's be real.  :)  But I try to focus on the positive instead of the negative.  There are several times throughout each day when I find things to be grateful for or appreciative of...that first cup of coffee, a hot shower, a beautiful sunrise, the sun shining, the tree top view at the top of the hill on my way into work, hearing a great song on the radio, or any number of things.  (Even the selfie my daughter posts on Facebook so I can see her beautiful smile since she doesn't live at home.)  The list of things to be thankful for grows as the day goes on.  

So what about those that struggle with having a positive outlook?  What can we do to help them change their behavior or way of thinking?  Can they change or is it something that has been engrained in them for so long that it isn't worth the effort?  I'd like to think it is more a habit than anything.  And that like any bad habit, it can be broken if the person wants to change.  At home, if my husband is being negative about something I ask him if he can change the situation.  If the answer is no, then move on.  Don't waste your time or energy focusing on it.  If the answer is yes, then do something about it!  Don't just sit there and complain about it.  When I put that question back on myself..."Can I help change another person's behavior?"...I'd like to believe the answer is yes.  So what do I do about it?  I write a blog post about it.  (Two so far actually!)

I honestly don't think negative people realize how their attitude affects those around them.  I don't think they realize they leave a trail of stress behind them.  There is a quote that says, "Attitudes are contagious.  Make yours worth catching."  I believe that...wholeheartedly.  It is a struggle to be around negativity and not not let it affect your mood.  I get that sometimes you need to talk about what is bothering you so you get it off your chest and move on.  That is how I am.  But to keep going on and on...day after day?  So then I put the question back on myself...what can I do to change it?  I can listen to their grumbles and complaints and try to put a positive spin on the situation.   Maybe the person needs a reminder of the positive in the situation.  There IS something positive in every situation.  You just have to find it. 

What would it be like to be a person that focuses on the negative?  That has to be a heavy weight to carry around all the time.  It must be exhausting.  I know I feel lighter when I rid myself of negativity.  Again, I put the question back on myself...what can I do to change it?  I can try to be a cheerful and happy person in hopes that my attitude will rub off.  Maybe my enthusiasm for life will help erase some of their negativity...bit by bit, piece by piece.  If attitudes are contagious, maybe they will catch the bug.  

How else can I spread the positivity bug?  At work we have free smiley faces on the bulletin board outside our office.  I can't believe how quickly we go through free smiley faces!  :)  We have two attitude jars set out.  If something is bothering you or holding you back, you write it on a piece of paper and leave it there so you can move on.  The other jar is for the positive things that we need to acknowledge and remember.  We have inspirational sayings on a white board.  Right now it says, "A negative mind will never give you a positive life."  We have essential oils, sprays and lotions.  We even give out real smiles and hugs!  We try to keep positivity and gratitude weaved into every aspect of our day. 

I challenge you to do the same!  

Yummy! Yummy! In my tummy!

Saturday we had our new scholar orientation for our 2015 McNair cohort.  During the orientation we like to play a fun little game...two truths and a lie.  For the past two years I've stumped the scholars.  Last year one of my truths was "I don't like food."  This year, my lie was "I love food!"  Boy is that a lie!  I don't like food...not really at all.  I love my Little Debbie Frosted Fudge Sticks, my custard filled long johns, my cereal, and a bunch of other stuff that isn't that good for you...nothing you can call food.  So when I find something I actually like that is actually "real" food, I am thrilled!

This week, Michigan has been giving us a taste of the winter weather that is sure to come.  With the colder temperatures, I've been in the mood for warm food.  Since I don't enjoy eating, I really don't enjoy cooking.  I enjoy baking, but not cooking!!  I would say that goes with the territory since I like sweets, not food.  Haha!

Monday I made some killer White Bean Chili with Chicken.  It was delicious!!  My husband still can't get over how delicious it was.  (If you want the recipe, let me know.)  Today's Crockpot Salsa Chicken Burritos were a big hit, too. I've tried some similar recipes off of Pinterest, but they were never a hit with my family.  We liked the concept, but there was something wrong with each recipe so it's not a keeper.  Last night I decided to try my own thing. 

 Here is how I made my Crockpot Salsa Chicken Burritos.

                        

Ingredients

3 chicken breasts (about 3 lbs)

1 cup dry black beans

1 can corn (rinsed and drained)

1 jar salsa (about 38 oz)

flour burrito shells

shredded cheese (optional)

sour cream (optional)

Directions
Soak dry beans in water over night.  (Directions say to soak for 8-10 hours, but I only soaked them about 7 hours, still leaving them somewhat dry.  They will soak up the juices while cooking giving them extra flavor and helping with the consistency.) Rinse beans before using.

In the bottom of the crockpot, spread about 1/3 of the salsa.  Lay the chicken breasts on the salsa and top with 1/3 of the salsa.  Top with beans, corn and remaining salsa.

Cook on high for approximately 8 hours.  The chicken should shred when you stir it.  If so, it is ready to be served and enjoyed!

    

Note: My mixture was not runny or soupy at all.  I attribute that to using dry black beans instead of canned.  The previous recipes I tried all called for canned beans and the mixture was very soupy.  If you have to use canned beans and it does come out soupy, you can throw some instant rice in and let it cook a bit longer.

Self Doubt

Why is it that some of us are filled with self doubt, yet others are confident in their abilities?  Self doubt isn't healthy so how do we overcome it?  What can we do to help others overcome it?

Rewind to December 2012.  I had just hired in with CMU's McNair Scholars Program.  Our McNair motto is Eat, Sleep, Move...McNair.  The eat and sleep part I could handle, but the move part was something I needed to work on.  I had started doing yoga...something outside of my comfort zone, but a step in the right direction.  We were going to be doing a 5k together in July so I needed to step it up a notch if I was going to try to run it.

I signed up for a membership at the SAC (CMU's Student Activity Center.)  The problem with the SAC (or maybe it is just my problem) is the treadmills face a glass wall.  I swear everyone that comes in to the building is watching me.  Plus it is set up so that the treadmills are in front of all the bikes and ellipticals.  Everyone behind me is watching.  I swear!  I feel like I am on display.  Not to mention the girls on the treadmills next to me are maybe 20 and a size 2.  It is very intimidating for a 41 year old mother of two with 20 extra pounds, muffin top and jiggly everything.

I eventually met with a personal trainer, but I felt like an idiot because I couldn't get the hang of the elliptical and I had no core.  The trainer thing didn't last because he was pushing me to break outside my comfort zone.  Heck, who am I kidding!  Everything in the gym was outside of my comfort zone.  I decided to stick with walking.  I've been walking for over 40 years so I figured the chance of me making a fool of myself was slim.  Walking was easy.  Walking was safe.

I worked my way up to walking on the treadmill 35 minutes on the highest incline at 4.1 mph three days a week.  People kept telling me if I was doing that on the treadmill, I could definitely run.  I didn't agree.  I knew myself better than they did and there was no way I could run.  But why was I doubting myself?  Why wouldn't I even try?  Why was I letting my fear of failure influence me more than the encouragement and support I was receiving?  Why wouldn't I take a chance?

I remember the moment I decided to take a chance like it was yesterday.  Fast forward to March 2013.  I was finishing my normal walking routine on the treadmill when I looked around and realized there were only four of us in the entire gym.  It was spring break so the SAC was empty.  Three of the four were over forty and everyone was doing their own thing.  No one was watching me.  I decided to break out of my comfort zone so I took the incline down to 0 and bumped the speed up to 4.6.  I told myself to shoot for a minute.  Then I changed my mind and said 60 seconds.  Yes, 60 seconds is the same amount of time as a minute, but 60 is more than 1.  It was a mind game I had to play with myself.  I made it 60 seconds and I didn't feel like I was going to die so I decided to keep going.  I ended up running 4 whole minutes!  That was 240 seconds!!!  I was so proud of myself!  I had never ever ran, let alone for 4 minutes.

It was invigorating.  It was empowering.  I felt like I was on top of the world.  For once I pushed myself to do something outside of my comfort zone and didn't let my fear hold me back.  It was huge for me!  It felt great to do something I never thought I would do, because I had never pushed myself to try.  For once I took the plunge and didn't let caution lead the way.

So here we are August 2014 and I am reminded how hard it is to push beyond your comfort zone and not let self doubt make choices for you.  I have been running with one of our scholars for about three months and the farthest we have ran is 1.25 miles without stopping.  I had really hoped we would run a 5k together, but it didn't seem like we were going to make it.  I believed with all my heart that she had more in her, but I don't think she believed.  How could I help her believe in herself, break out of her comfort zone, and push through her own self doubt?  Was it my place to push her?  

I decided I wouldn't push, but gently nudge. We set out for our run with the goal of 1.5 miles.  I fibbed to her by telling her I disabled the audio cues on my running app so I wouldn't know how far we were in our run.  I tricked her by changing up our route.  When the app told me we hit our mark of 1.5 miles I knew she could do more so I suggested another half loop.  She didn't want to, but she kept going.  We hit that end mark and the app whispered in my ear that we were at 1.75 miles.  I urged her to keep going.  I asked if she trusted me.  It makes me laugh now, because she said no.  I don't know if that was really her talking or the exhaustion, but either way she took a chance and kept going.  When we hit that 2 mile mark I was so proud of her!!  She took a chance with me.  She trusted me.  She broke out of her comfort zone for me.  She did it!  She ran 2 miles!! 

Going forward, I hope that run helped her shed some of her self doubt and to believe in herself.  I know it was a great reminder for me of how important it is to keep going forward...to keep setting and reaching new goals.  She inspired me to push myself farther than I ever had before and break my 3.1 mile record...to reach for 4 miles instead.  This morning I conquered 4 miles.  Now I'm going to reach for 6.1...to run a 10k.  Because she took a chance with me, I am reminded I need to take a chance on myself.

Being Present

The following is a piece I wrote for mcnairscholarsrock.com published October 18, 2013.

It’s been almost a whole year that I’ve been with McNair.  Over the course of that year there have been many conversations with Lynn or the scholars about being present in the moment…being mindful of what is happening now, not focusing on what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow.  In doing that, I have found a new respect for the beauty that surrounds us and wanting to share that beauty with others.

I have always appreciated the beauty of nature and have a hidden passion for taking pictures.  I’m not the photographer that can stage people and capture something stunning, but I love maneuvering on the ground to get in just the right position to catch the sun through the branches of trees.  If you were to look through my pictures on Facebook, you will see that I am constantly taking pictures of the things around me.  I am constantly trying to capture that elusive shot to showcase the beauty of things as I see it through my eyes.

There are many times throughout the day that I wish I had my camera with me so I could stop to capture a shot.  I catch a glimpse of something that I perceive as beautiful or picturesque.  On my way to work each day I pass two houses with newborn foals.  Just down the road there is a tree that stands tall and forlorn in a field of beans.  I may see a doe and her fawn in the field or be witness to the sun rising in the morning.  It could be some architectural detail on a building on campus or just some random thing that catches my eye.

I have realized that capturing that one great shot fills me with a rush of excitement, happiness and optimism.  Hold on a second, let me rephrase that.  The action of taking pictures, just trying to capture a great shot, fills me with excitement, happiness and optimism.  I feel tuned in and content with my place in the universe.  It is almost like a drug. Isn’t that how life should be?

Shouldn’t life be like a drug? I want to be high on life!

I want to be present in the moment more often.  I know it’s not practical to expect every moment of the day to bring you joy or be filled with beauty, but I think maybe if we slow down and start taking notice of some of the little moments we may find those little pieces are enough to sustain us when maybe there isn’t joy or beauty.

I think we may find ourselves becoming more optimistic because we will realize that every day is filled with lots of great moments.  Maybe it’s just a smile from a random stranger, hitting green lights when you’re running late, someone holding a door open for you, a great cup of coffee, a compliment from a friend, a decent grade on a quiz you thought you did lousy on or just a simple “like” on a Facebook status.

So even though what I perceive as beautiful may not be the next person’s idea of beauty, I’m going to keep on viewing life as if I have my camera pressed up to my face.  I’m going to keep on trying to capture that elusive photo for others to enjoy because that means I’m taking time to be present in the moment and being high on life.

Life's a Challenge

There are a lot of things in life that are hard.  They change as you change or as your life changes.  What may be hard one day may seem like small stuff later in life.  Maybe you are waiting to hear if you’ve been accepted into the McNair Scholars Program, maybe you are trying to run your first mile, your car is on the fritz, a friend is giving you grief, or you are feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibilities you have at this moment.  There will be countless things in our lifetime that will challenge us.  And that’s a good thing!  But, when you are the one struggling to overcome that challenge, it is hard to reconcile the fact that these challenges help you grow, make you stronger, and help you face the next challenge.  

Many of our scholars have been waiting for responses from grad schools where they have applied.  The fate of their future rests in someone else’s hands.  The decisions that others are making in regards to their future is monumental.  AHHHHH!!!  How stressful!  Which grad schools are going to present them with an offer?  Which offer will they accept?  What if they don’t receive any offers?  Where are they going to be moving?  How much of a stipend will they be getting?  Will they be able to afford their living expenses without taking on a part-time job?  What if the offer they receive doesn’t align with the path they had mapped out for their future?  The wait and not knowing is torture!!

Right now, I can totally empathize with those scholars waiting for their grad school offers.  We are in the process of buying a new home and moving.  In my ideal world, everything would have happened in a week.  In this ideal world of mine, I can sell my house, find a new one, get all the loan documentation taken care of, close on both homes, pack, move and be settled into the new home all within a week.  Yep, you read that correctly!  All of that would have taken place within a week.  But of course that isn’t the way it really happens…this is the real world.  

I know that I need to be patient and things will work themselves out as they should.  I realize that everything happens for a reason.  In my head, I tell myself the same things that I say to the scholars in hopes to reassure and calm their nerves while they wait for their offers to come.  These same words apply to my own situation.  But when the shoe is on the other foot, it is hard to let it go and let life happen.  It is hard to reconcile the fact that these challenges help me grow, make me stronger, and help me face the next challenge.  Life is hard, but that’s a good thing.  Because it means I’m living!